"TRANCEPORTATION: CYBER SENIORS"
(by Cyborg Proctologists of the 23rd and a 1/4 Century)

 

(C. DeCracken)
 

[CHORUS 2x]
Why, but why
can’t old people drive?
Please tell me why
it’s a geriatric sky

Obi-Wan mans
the Millennium Falcon
trying to escape
a stormtrooper battalion

Man, you really threw them off
by forgetting to turn your blinker off
You’ve been ready to take a left
for the last fifty planets

Flying at a safe ten miles per hour
he slowly escaped to the Jedi tower
Swerving between two star lanes
no stormtrooper would dare come your way

Why don’t you use some Jedi power
to leave the passing lane for an hour?

[CHORUS]

Liet Kynes, a Fremen leader
But... come on!... with the Ornithopter

When he drives, from beginning to end,
every two minutes it’s “Where again?"
And it ain’t supposed to jump up and down
Stick to one: the sky or the ground

The Atreides never ask for directions
but Liet can’t remember where his base is
No, this is not the way
unless the whole desert’s been cleared away

Move over, I’m driving
Stick to sandworms
They’re more your liking

[synthesizer solo]

[CHORUS]

Captain Picard now gives orders
of the Enterprise’s new set course

Captain Picard, what are you doing?
Running the ship from the lavatory?
You can’t start the scanning device
by flushing the toilet, not even twice?

“No, sir" they said “we can’t do it now"
As announced, they‘ve long hit ground
There’s no need to go to maximum warp
when you’ve already landed, you dork

That’s right, sir. The crew’s all here
Why do you blush and continue to stare?
It’s not the bed but the seat of command
Go ahead, put your clothes on again

[CHORUS 2x]


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