The Second-Greatest Fake Internet Band in the World!
is:
Dave Thorngage - Lead vocals, keyboards, backing vocals
Tony "Scythe" Lear - Lead guitars, rhythm guitars, acoustic guitars, vocals
John "Grim" Evenwood - Rhythm guitars, backing vocals
Art Mourn - Bass guitars, rhythm guitars, backing vocals, percussion
Chris "Lothar" DeCracken - drums, percussion, vocals
History
Few bands have reached even half the range of evolution as Cactus Bastard. Through dealing with internal problems, such as monopolistic control and an addiction, Cactus Bastard has survived to create a name for themselves like no other. In the mid 80’s, Cactus Bastard was a Hair band that was a cut above the rest. During the course of making their second album, members of the band decided to explore their own musical tastes and bring them to the table to create a sound like none other. The ability to connect the seemingly incompatible musical tastes resulted in a truely unique, unnatural, and probably illegal approach to music.
1)Chris’ interest in the please-your-genius-chemistry-teacher complexity and get-even-with-the-neighbor’s-cat power of underground extreme metal (eg. death metal, cyber metal) that no one had heard of or wanted to hear of and 2)Dave’s embrace of elevator-music-esque soft rock and 3)Scythe’s love of Guns n’ Roses, the band’s original Hair band sound, and 80-(early)90’s hard rock and heavy metal , 4)along with the occassional addition of atmospheric, pop, folk, and electronic music, threw up a style that some called “confused and messed-up,” but others called it simply “Cactus Bastard.” Cactus Bastard always has the ability to make albums with a variation between songs, and sometimes within a song, that makes both newcomers and fans listen and go “huh...” To try to define or categorize the style of Cactus Bastard would be heretical and blasphemous to the laws of reality. They are what they are, Cactus Bastard. When it comes to Cactus Bastard's music, people either love it or hate it, or they fall somewhere in-between.
Timeline
1988 - Great One released, goes gold
1989 - Death Valley Supremacy Tour, Great One goes platinum
1991 - Depression in D Minor released
1992 - Depression goes gold
1993 - Thank Goodness I Saved You released, goes gold; Depression goes platinum
1994 - Divine Dictation Tour delayed due to infamous Eldon Thorngage Project incident
1995 - Melfina released, goes platinum
1996 - There Goes the Neighborhood released, goes gold within 3 weeks; goes platinum within 4 months
1997 - Airtight released, meets poor reception; American Rubbermaid Tour cancelled due to lack of interest
1999 - Bang! Cactus Bastard's Greatest Hits released, goes gold; High School Reunion Tour begins
2001 - The success of Bang! inspires Cactus Bastard to release new album, Last Refuge of a Scoundrel
2002 - Scoundrel goes gold; Driving Rhythm: A Tribute to Cactus Bastard released
2003 - Cactus Bastard goes back to the studio... is a new album on the way?
2020 - No
DISCLAIMER
Welcome to Cactus Bastard's homepage. For those of you who have found your way here through inexplicable means, this is a fake internet band pretending to be real. According to Cactus Bastard's "history," the band has been around since the late 80s, and has released eight albums, including a Greatest Hits album, and had a tribute album made for them (using the names of other fake bands, most of which don't have homepages or even songs for that matter). Actually, the band was invented by several college students in late 2002. None of the band's "members" really exist, either... they are caricatures of rock stereotypes using the first names of aforementioned students. The songs were actually written by us, though... if it says that Tony or Chris or Dave wrote a song, then that's who wrote that song (although the surname is fake). But, none of these songs have actual music to them, and none of us really play the instruments we are listed as playing.
This disclaimer is up 1) for legal reasons, so we don't get sued for some reason; 2) so that no one tries to book us for a concert; and 3) so that nobody tries to actually find our albums. That being said, I hope you enjoy the site.
--"Tony Lear, aka Scythe"
**Cactus Bastard and its members have no affiliation or connection with the creators of Outlaw Star (TM), Star Wars (TM), Fist of the North Star (TM), or my friend Zach's car (not TM), and shamelessly have no permission to use images from or relating to the aforementioned trademarks on our website. Please don't sue us. We don't have any money anyway.